El F*&%ing Torito?!?

El F*&%ing Torito?!?

For those that don’t know it, I am indeed a wrestling fan. Have been since my Dad took me to some matches on my birthday long ago when the Honkey Tonk Man was in a long standing feud with Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake over the Intercontinental Title. (Editors Note: To this day, I still don’t know what’s beefy about a barber)

So, as always I purchased the monthly WWE Pay Per View and sat down with my brother to watch. This months was The Royal Rumble. An event that pits 30 men (entering at 90 second intervals) against one another in an over the top rope Battle Royal.

Lately, the crowd has really been hot for a particular wrestler; Daniel Bryan. For those that follow the sport, you know him by his real name Bryan Danielson. Or The American Dragon. Or The American Dolphin. Whatever.

So when he didn’t enter the Royal Rumble match proper it was not just a HUGE let down for my brother and I who seem to worship the ground that Bryan and CM Punk walk on, respectfully, but it seemed to rather irk the Pittsburgh crowd. Now Im not sure if it was the fact that Batista won the match after being gone 4 years and looking like this may have been his first match ever, or the fact that Bryan wasn’t in the match, but they were heated.

Now after the match I left the computer to make sure that I had clean underwear in the washing machine so I wasn’t around twitter for a lot of the out pouring of hatred. But I wonder if folks noticed something. We didn’t get Daniel Bryan in the Royal Rumble, but we sure as hell got El Torito. EL FUCKING TORITO. The sidekick to a tag team with a gimmick so shitty they had to try it a second time. (What were you thinking Tito?!). We don’t get arguably the best wrestler in the entire world in a match that had major ramifications for the companies giant 30th anniversary of Wrestlemania, no. We get a little person in a fucking bull suit.

This is one of the four big Pay Per Views you put on a year. Some folks only get the big ones and you need to put your best foot forward. Not step in a giant pile of Bull Shit that you seem to think is entertaining.

Not to mention all the build up between Del Rio and Batista game to a whopping 15 second climax. Or that it seemed that the crowd had to entertain itself tonight.

I won’t be one of those assholes who say, “I hate this! They are ruining wrestling and I am never going to watch them again.” Because i will watch it. I am a glutton for the punishment that they like the deliver. But that doesn’t mean I can’t bitch about it. What? You think Im gonna focus all my attention on TNA?! HA!

Did WWE cash in big time on something that would have made the event memorable?

No no, instead of the person that we ALL wanted to see, we got fucking El Torito.


One thought on “El F*&%ing Torito?!?”

  1. Horrible conclusion. The only good surprise was the talented NXT wrestler Rusev. Bryan VS Wyatt started the show off in an amazing manner, but things took a U-turn shortly after. The rumble could have saved the day if it had a better result.

    You want to know why Torito was in the match? Simply for the sake of a video package pointing out the shortest man ever in a Rumble and breaking a new record. Yup, that is WWE for you!


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